Cooked Sh!t on Site 🍳: That Time a Shop Casually Burned Down

Advisory: Coarse Language below.

Tradies are the most casual people you’ll ever meet. There is no sense of ‘normal’ in the trades world.

I’m starting this web series about all the ‘cooked’ or ‘janky’ things that I’ve (and my Sparky friends) have seen over the years in the industry. Strange clients, 🚩 tradies, just anything that you would really not see in the normal world.

Nothing is exaggerated.

Today’s Episode is:

That time A Shop Casually Burned Down

“It’s my first week back at work. I had gone camping for three weeks, deep in the Catlins, i.e the bottom of New Zealand.

I was now sitting at a table full of the most unserious, yet serious, men you could never imagine. These guys jammed XXL T-shirts while I was XS, and laughed so loudly you could hear them from across the road. Think a Dachshund (or cat) amongst a table of German Shepherds and Dobermans. That type of situation.

Every week we do for a Health & Safety meetings. Usually it’s a risk assessment and review all of the safety issues on our sites. We do a lot of government projects, so we are pretty up-to-date with our paperwork.

This was my first day back:

Boss: Right guys. Shut the fuck up. Health and Safety. What did we fuck up this week?

T-Dog: Fuck all gee. We’ve actually been good. It’s all the other cunts that don’t clean up.

A-Dog: *Thinking*

J-Dog: Oh I got one! That building burned down.

Boss: Oh fuck! Yeah! I forgot that happened!

N-Dog: Oh shit yeah that happened.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK? ONE OF OUR BUILDING BURNT DOWN??!

Boss: Oh Fuck no. Of course not.

Me: Oh Thank god. I thought you were serious for a second.

*Silence*

J-Dog: We ARE serious Sam. Why would you not think so?

Boss: Yeah Sam, what the fuck. Why would you not take us seriously? It’s the building next door. Not OUR building.

Me:

J-Dog: Yeah bro the whole thing just got lit.

Boss: *Proceeds to write down notes on Health & Safety form*

Me: THE WHOLE THING BURNED DOWN? It’s literally my first day back guys!

Boss: Yeah apparently it’s the one week that the Firefighters went on strike so it took them something like 30 minutes, instead of 3 minutes to answer the call.

J-Dog: It’s not electrical apparently; it needed maintenance or something rather.

Boss: Alright that’s the paper work done. Yeah guys don’t be leaving your shit everywhere. Support your firefighters. I don’t want people coming after me.

We continued that meeting, and a segment came out on the news later about the incident.

Moral of the Story is, support your fire fighters. The New Zealand Professional Firefighter’s Union is having their strike.

Just another day at the office.”

– Sam.