Toxic People: 5 Types to avoid in the Trades.

1. The guy who gossips about everyone but pretends to be nice to you.

This is what he looks like:

• Overly-friendly and keen to share gossip about other people. Yet they assert they would never talk badly about you/ they are your mate
• Looks for validation through you ‘needing’ to hear the latest company politics.
• Focuses more on people’s wrongdoings than their own work.
• Never anything positive to say about others.

I once worked with someone like this – really trusted them. I thought they were genuine. I realised later that they were gossiping about me behind my back, while also feeding me information about others. When I quit that job, he straight out texted me for sex. He had befriended me for ulterior motives. I blocked him and never looked back.

2. The One Upper.

These guys will always turns everything into a competition. People with a very victim-centred mentality are very difficult to work with. Usually they are not interested in your needs, rather the attention that they give you. 

What they typically look like:

• Brags about how much overtime they does.
• Shifts the focus of the conversation onto their struggles, with no regards given to you.
• No empathy or understanding – their life is always harder than yours.
• Feels justified in the way they act because they think they work so hard.
• Burnt out from ‘working so much’, but the results of their work are not as productive as you’d imagine them to be.

I once worked with someone like this. I believed that they were actually very hard working, with all the overtime that they did. What I realised was that, they were not at all productive in their overtime. I only ever saw them scrolling on instagram, and talking to other trades during work hours. Never using a drill.

3. The Bully.

We all know the bully. Toxic people that no one will usually say anything about.

What they look like:

• Uses intimidation, humiliation, or “banter” to control people – everything is in the form of a passive-aggressive joke.
• Wrecks confidence and team culture – will pull low ‘jokes’ and tug at your weak points.
• Gets emotional and defensive when people pull the same jokes on them.
• Ego-centric and can’t be wrong.
• Target the quiet ones, the new ones, or anyone who doesn’t fit the culture.
• Yell, swear, threaten jobs, or mess with people’s work.
• Constantly embarrass apprentices in front of others – making them anxious in the long run.
• Instills a toxic work culture because “thats how it is”.

I worked with someone like this. Everyone said, “His boots were too big for him.” I didn’t get it until he yelled at me like a child one day. I remember him standing there as if he thought he was a dad, yelling “Sam come here now”, while pointing towards the ground. I realised then that he was a bully, and suspected that he was on drugs. He was an apprentice ‘running’ a job site. Not a supervisor. Still a baby.

4. The Narcissist who downplays your struggles

You’ll definitely come across a narcissist in your career. Be sure to keep an eye out for them, as they are very confident.

What these guys look like:

• They need constant admiration, or to be in control of the project.
• Can’t handle being wrong, and blame everyone else when things don’t go their way.
• They make every problem about themselves, but will take every success as their victory.
• They want to lead the team, but will never take responsibility for mistakes.
• Will often gaslight other people into thinking that they were the ones at fault.
• Bullsh*t confidence and put themselves above others.

“That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, that’s not a big deal.

And if it is, it’s not my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.”

– “The Narcissist Prayer” by Dayna Craig

5. The Gatekeeper

What they look like:

• Hoards knowledge – they won’t train anyone else, or will only show them a limited amount of what they do.
• Talks sh*t about others who are learning – they enjoy watching others struggle to feel superior.
• Big fish in a small pond – Often they are considered ‘smart’ or the go-to-guy in the company for certain tasks, when in reality they are subpar compared to industry standards. Quite often they can only do a handful of things well.

I worked onsite with a guy like this for a few months. Company favourite because he had trained with them. Qualified guy who never bothered to have a conversation with me, even though we were a small team who shared the same smoke room. Never taught me anything, because I wasn’t his problem. He did all the ‘electrical stuff’ and I wanted to learn.

Fast forward to a few years later. I heard he had quit that job, but couldn’t find another job elsewhere. So he had to go back and get rehired. By now I had done so much more variety in my work with my current company – residential house to full scale government projects. I knew what his skills were limited to – I knew that he was subpar in the industry. I was not better than him – simply I was in a better position at my level purely because my current company had taught and invested so much into me. Gatekeeping never helped anyone.

You’re at the end…

It’s really not in your head. The trades are full of different toxic types. Construction is still very behind on having a positive attitude towards mental health. The good news is that there are lots of people who are good. You just need to weed out the terrible ones first.

Remember. You don’t owe anything to anyone – not your superiors, or tradesmen, or anyone else. Especially not to a**holes who bring you down. Keep humble and carry on with your work.